Sunday, February 6, 2011

I used to have real thing for John Elway

If you thought the halftime entertainment was a little lacking and you are in the mood for more excitement than the Black Eyed Peas, I doubt I can help you. If, however, you would like to hear an inane story of one woman’s quest to become a football fan then get comfy and read on.

When I was preparing to leave for college in 1986 I was faced with a major decision that was obviously going to require much soul-searching and exploration of issues that had never before crossed my mind. I was going to college in Los Angeles, CA and I had this nice boyfriend who I was leaving behind in Denver, CO and I thought it was pretty important that I decide whether or not I was a Bronco fan (like him) or if I should dedicate my fickle heart to the L.A. Raiders instead. It’s shockingly superficial, is it not? Well, the truth is, there was very little about me as an 18-year old that was not shockingly superficial. I have been working on being much more serious and profound since then so I’m going to let myself off the hook for that one. Long story short, I went with the Broncos. For anyone who knows football and has one of those freakishly precise memories about which teams played in the Super Bowl each year and what the score was at the end of each quarter and what the middle name was of the guy who kicked that winning field goal in the 4th quarter, let me add that I was in college from 1986-1990 and three out of those four years the Broncos ended up in the Super Bowl. Hmmm, seems like I made a pretty smart choice when I went with Bronco fan over Raiders fan, huh? Not if you like being a fan of a team that actually wins the Super Bowl as opposed to miserably humiliating themselves time and again, so really, now I wish I had just followed my instincts and ignored the game completely and then I wouldn’t, to this day, still owe copious amounts of beer to one of my fellow alums with whom I made endless bets on those ill-fated games.

Enjoying the Broncos
and probably a few Coors
 If it weren’t for my brief stint as a football fan, however, I never would have had the opportunity to capture this flattering moment in time when I donned my Bronco paraphernalia and sucked down many-a silver bullet all in the name of supporting my hometown team in the big game. You can see the grit and determination in the set of my jaw and the confidence with which I hold up my finger, silently proclaiming that Broncos will be number one. Yes, life was good at that moment.

You might be surprised to learn that I do not actually remember what happened during that game, except that my team lost and I may have had to skip my 9:00 class the following morning. It’s okay, I got over the game and skipping one class didn’t really hurt my solid 2.8 grade point average. The same year this charming photo was taken, my mom moved to Minneapolis anyway, so I felt like opportunity was really pounding away on my door, offering me a chance to ditch the Broncos for the Vikings. Now there’s a football team a gal can really get behind.

So here it is, 23 years later (damn it) and what has become of my football fanship? I couldn't care less about football. I was a little happy the year the Broncos did finally win a Super Bowl and I really enjoyed seeing Drew Bledsoe in the San Diego airport in 2000, but that had little to do with his football prowess. It’s not very profound, but basically I think the sport is kind of ridiculous and it disturbs me how much the players get paid and I don’t really feel bad that many of them end up with early signs of dementia and traumatic brain injuries. I know, I said I was cultivating more profound thinking, but not so much about football, I guess. I am particularly disgusted by the feeding- frenzy the Super Bowl has become. The thought of all those nachos and Pizza Hut Big Dipper pizzas with the gelatinous mozzarella-stuffed crust kind of makes me want to throw up a little bit. But still, I did make it to my sister's house for a Super Bowl “party,” if you can call it that. I didn't see any of the actual game but I made darn sure I saw some Black Eyed Peas. I'm considering adding some periods to my name, like that guy.


  1. chris.ten.thom.p.son

    I think it works. dd

  2. chris.ten, because I'm a ten. ha ha, yes, I like it.

  3. I have 2 football tshirts.
    1 Broncos shirt with #7 and
    1 Viking shirt #4
    I was at the beach yesterday.