Friday, January 10, 2014

Sometimes I am invisible

Pretty close similarity
Sometimes I am invisible. I'm not exactly sure how or when it happens but it's true, on occasion I can become strangely transparent. I am like a ghost. Although I feel heavy and solid, the people around me don't seem to notice me. There is no acknowledgement of my presence. I watch their faces and their eyes are focused elsewhere and their posture bears no sign of the fact that I am standing just inches away. I can hear my voice speaking, feel the vibration in my head, yet my words pass unnoticed. Sometimes, the people who can't see me even begin talking while I am still speaking and this is what makes me realize I am obviously invisible.

Whenever this happens to me, I walk away confused and a little dejected. I am not sure how I should react. Should I try harder to be seen or should I accept my invisibility? Perhaps it's a sign that I should reel myself in, avert my eyes and hunch my shoulders, still my voice so that I am as small and quiet as I can be. I don't want to disturb anyone. Mostly I just shake my head and wonder why they can't see me.

There are other people, though, who definitely see me. I am so big and so bright to them, I see myself filling up their faces and overflowing out into the world. Some people can't help but see me and I think they see me even when I am not around. There are not that many people like this but there are enough to confirm for me that I am alive and real.

I wish I could use my invisibility more to my advantage, but it is so unpredictable that I just couldn't count on it for something like crime fighting or sneaking into someone's house just to see how they live. For now, I will have to stick with things the way they are. Whenever I need to know I really exist, I'll just spend time with my dog. He always knows I'm around.

But just a word of advice, for anyone else who has ever experienced this: if they can't see you, maybe they are not supposed to. Even if you were to make your presence known, they would never see you as you really are. Just go with it. Pretend you are a superhero. Maybe you really are.

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